Brain Bobbles

I am wrapped in a dollhouse.

 Newly build, small, romantic looking houses and buildings quietly placed next to the sharp edged mountain is the view. A view constantly stared at for now 7 full days.

The few people who once in a while pass the boat, silently wanders out the pontoon, as though they are scared to make a noise in this dreadful calmness. They politely give me an approved “ I have seen you” –nod as they walk past me while I am killing hours in the sun trying to dig my brain for stimulation.

A digging that is merely desperate than wanted. Any new thought is welcome and greeted with a smile, when this rarely happens.

7 days of quietness, I thought would do me good. However, they more likely kill brain cells more than activating these. Hours of the day I sincerely hoped to get a lot down on paper, a mix of delightful new words and sentences. Sentences, which would do their job well in a folder or just as accessories in my “Writers Book”.  Accessories I need and is longing for. However, I tend to be staring at thee same word and thee same view in mind and in eye.

It has been a ridiculous amount of years since I have discovered this kind of mental-boredom, as I in these days have gotten myself in to.

“Great writers can write anywhere” are the words that once in a while repeat in my thoughts as I am thinking to myself; of course this is a fact of the truth. But, the content of any writing have to do more than put a person to sleep.

It has been 6 months.  A whole half year in Europe. A continent I have not spend this long of time in for 6 years. Something I feel down to every bone. Despite this, I get to experience the continent in a different way than the ordinary; as per the ocean. The Great Big Blue. The beautiful never ending horizon, which can only give me a feeling of size, strength and hope of Mother Earth. 6 months of developing a passion for this. The life onboard; in harbor as well as its people. Yet, still have to develop a love for constant thought of silent and still views.

Catch myself in longing for a shout or at least and best a laugh in the distant. None of these have yet appeared. As I am typing this I think to myself; why I should not be the shout or the laugh? Again realizing I have not done any of these in 7 days. Not a laugh for that long is not the way my mouth use to work. 

However, knowing whose fault this is; I better bite my own tongue and leave the self-pity to someone else than I.

The four-legged little one, has become two-legged. Since 14 days she, in a clumsy way jumps too high off the boat, the skinny bones decide to fail. This is another mental turn-off as I feel like clinging algae to the world within fiber-glass and multihulls.  

Despite the lack of stimulation and newly discovered thoughts; day dreaming is at its highest. A talent of mine for 26 years. A constant boost in adventures, countries and culture, a diversity of these I wish to seek when logging out of the mental state of daydreaming. Always been voting for it, even wrote a paper in college with the conclusion of the importance of doing so. Despite the original idea, the teacher managed to find it as “extraordinary thinking yet silly”.

Think I am losing my mind as I am losing the point of these writings.

A shoulder clap of this achievement is in order I reckon.

“ Well done, Giz”

Thank You!

"Reality Strikes"

A close girlfriend of mine came for a week's visit not long ago. Someone I studied with for 3 years 8 or so years back. A time in my life where all I wanted was to pack my bags and leave. A stage in life where I had to force myself to leave my apartment only to sit for hours and hours of the day listening to an old tired teacher telling me what I need to know to survive in this world.

I hated it.

I saw it as a waste of time, waste of energy and waste of life, to be honest.
I know you will probably get far if not only further with the right papers, diplomas ect. However, that is not the kind of teaching I wish for, nor is it something I see myself in need of learning. I like to learn by doing through living, and this will come to me naturally. Either by traveling, sucking in a new culture, meeting new individuals who are either more well-traveled than myself or people who see life in a differet perspective. Someone that can stimulate my thinking and question what I see a need to.

I haven't spend much time in my homecountry for about 6 years now. I honestly do not miss it, nor have I ever missed it. Family and friends, people who are very dear to me are also people I know I will see under other circumstances.
Friends come to visit often. Even last year I was so lucky one of my brothers and his girlfriend decided to have a peak at my life in Tel Aviv. Something that meant the world to me. The fact that they absolutely adored and fell inlove with the place was just the icing of the cake.

It's been quite a while since a friend from home has paid me a visit overseas. When she heard I was only 5 hours planeflight from her, she packed her bags and came down for a week of "Scandinavian Winter Rehabiliation" in the Canaries.
I LOVE when people show an interest in the way I decided to live life. A love that grows when it is well-respected of same.

As I picked my friend up in the airport with butterflies in my belly, knowing it's been more than 6 months since I last saw her, I was overly excited. This would be the first visit she has ever paid me outside of our country. The thought of being able to show her life onboard stumbled around in me with pure gratefulness.

The first 24 hours I felt a little torned.
Seeing, feeling and hearing her within my presence was a little weird. In one way I felt as though I was back home, something that followed me with feelings connected by the country, my childhood and that exact stage of life then. Yet again, knowing and constantly feeling my life had lead me elsewhere again, I felt calm, appreciative and most happy about the present. At home I would be wildering around, living amongst the citizens, safely and well-respected. Life in present gave me a boat with great people, my puppy and the ocean as a daily sight.

As the days went past I got more and more used to seeing her face amongst the new ones. She beautifully and clamly blended in. As she left, she was missed and the days once again took a turn back to "normality".

"Normality" as it is onboard;

A run in the morning, coffee and brekky on deck, followed by a busy pen in hand. Socialise with common sailors, get to know new people as well as saying bye to "old". Discussing wind and weather for next trip, fixing what needs to get fixed are the tasks of my present "normality".
Not a bad place to be.

Visits from home truly count. They are what makes me feel that little inch happier. The fact that people are curious, excited or just in need of a holiday, is something that just makes it that tiny bit easier not to loose contact, nor to feel out of reach with one another.

For whoever wish to join for holiday will bring a certain type of feeling with them. Something I can only love; it gives me new thoughts, new stimulations and more to write about, think about and socialise about.

Life as it is now, is more than I can ask for.

Thank You

Wups, I did it again!

I managed to do it again.

Do exactly what I have done, and for some reason is my passion to do, for almost 6 years now.

I broke my plans.

My whole life I have been the sort of person that loves, and by love I mean deeply love writing down ALL my plans. Plans to every single detail. I would put this piece, or pieces of paper on my wall, spending weeks reading it over and over again and even adding to it. It would be plans that would cover all fields of life; living situation, education, travel-destinations, love, clothes ect. I always tend to amaze people with the determination of completing and going for what I wanted.

" Wow, that girl really got something going for her." would be the words I eavesdropped on when the topic was set on me.

However, I never did turn out the girl they thought I was. Never did I outlive the plans and goals I had then. What I think I merely did, was to dissapoint people when not turning out to be this "determined individual who will make a difference in life".


BUT. A big fat BUT.

I am happy. And truly, honestly and boldly; that is all that matters.

I have constantly broken my plans. So often I stopped telling people about them, cause I knew I would have to put myself in reverse and change my sayings. You never know what will pop up in life (read previous blog " And Im back in the game").


The most beautiful things, episodes, experiences and people show up when you least expect it. They will never be on a list. Nor will they come if you did type them down when being a young girl.
When being open to change; change will happen. When being open to love; love will happen. All this and more, when you keep your spirit free and go with the flow of life.


Yes. With this life-style I cannot "save the world" nor do I tend to. Nor do I wish to. I truly believe when you are deeply happy, that's when you can make people smile. Doing what you "should, could, would" will only benefit others. Doing what makes YOU happy, smile, love and live life the way you wish; that's what will expand your horizon and be worth while. And something I see everyone in your life odd to accept. If there is no accept to reach, at least respect the choices an individual makes. This is where you will make a significant change in people's lives. You might even be inspirational to others; friends, family and even strangers. That is beautiful and uplifting to me.

So I changed my plans, again.

Whether I changed it for love, a different adventure or just for the sake of change will always be the questions I will be asked. The answer will always be my own. However, I will share one day when I'm ready.


I am currently sitting on my new boat's deck. Enjoying the freedom to write what comes to mind, loving the peace and quiet and sucking in all the knowlegde I can learn from my new "partners in crime". Anyhow, life on this beautiful Danish 46 feet catamaran will take me places in mind and body, I never thought were possible.

Final destination; unknown - in every possible way.

Just the way I like it.

Love will take you places you never thought were possible. One just gotta stay open to new options in life and take in what may come to you. Just significantly beautiful!

Making a difference in life will be well-considered and thought of with a constant stream of motivation. If only I could make a difference in one person's life, I would rest easy and be satisfied to the limit!


That will, no doubt happen one fine day. Till then, I will enjoy my new love and somewhat new life-style.


"When it Feels Right; it's Right!"


Thank You!

And Im Back in the Game

Written Jan. 26th '11



I have now felt it since I was in Morocco. A country I deeply fell inlove with in such an instant I know I will be back again.


We anchored in a little bay off the thee cutest town, Essaouiro. A town where you will meet a diversity of travelers; families, elders, backpackers, solo travelers and even Moroccan's themselves. The place is known for its essentric atmosphere where music, culture and surfing play the biggst roles. Because of this, locals like to go there, either for plessure or education.


The beautiful houses in town are charismatically painted white with blue windows, all jammed against each other. So close neighbours cannot avoid to know what you are cooking for dinner. A small town with millions of smiles, colours, tastes and smells.


As we strolled down the street my eye caught this girl. She was dressed with a headscarf as though she had wrapped her dreadlocks. A bull piercing in her nose and clothes taking from my days in Byron Bay. It was frigin Jade. Canadian Jade, who I lived with at The Arts Factory (hostel) in Australia almost 5 years ago. Completely shocked we hugged and exchanged stories. She has been in Morocco a couple of times before and was revisiting with her boyfriend, yet soon to take off for a week in London before heading home. Jade is the ultimative Hippie, and this said in thee most positive way. Always smiling and with soft eyes she talks about life with such a fascination. Currently living on a small Canadian island where she and friends grow their own foods as well as making leatherbags which they sell on the local market for a bit of cash. I LOVE meeting people I haven't seen in a long time, especially when you least expect it. As I told her "It makes me feel the world is so small and full of oppertunities". After a few chats we went seperate ways. Knowing we will meet again; On the Road Of Travel. The endless road.

I ran the streets from morning till night. I recalled a certain feeling I developed within myself. A feeling of a perfect stage. A stage in life I was once again to enter. I got the travel-vibe back. The one that never used to stop hunting me. A hunger only to see, feel and touch. I noticed then, I had no hunger for food, despite the fact I had not eaten all day. Completely well fed with culture and people.


This is it.


This is the person I always breathed for. A feeling in me I lost when settling for a longer period of time in Israel. As all this came back to me, I sat on the promenade by the endless long beach and smiled. I am truly back in the game. I have missed having this feeling as part of me. A part I refuse to give up easily again.
When we accidentally hit rocks a while back was just a reminder of this certain feeling; completely adventurous without a worry in mind. Yes, the boat could be on the bottom of the sea; but it is not. Yes, I could have gotten hurt; but I did not. Yes, we could have lost everything we had; but we did not. And so on.

"All That Ends Well, is Well"

I had long talks to Lizz about this matter. Talks about how I felt about the experience and how to interpretate it as past. All this only to reach the conclusion, that I truly am not hunted by it. With this feeling I know I am back in my travels.


This is something really hard for people who have not been on the road of travel themselves. For a person who never have caught a plane to a place without having a clue where to go when arriving. Someone who has never lived day by day, even hour by hour in an unknown country. (Please note; I am not patrionising these people, just trying to make my point clear).


When traveling you take the experiences you are given for what they are. A lot of things and episodes, even accidents can happen when you walk the road of travel (just as it can in the safety of your own hometown). Situations such as these have happened to me many times, anything from crashing my car in Australia, to having my drink spiked in Thailand. For you to stay on the road and not turn around in fear, you learn to "Sort the sugar from the shit". And off you go.


It is always and always will be, hard for the ones left at home. The feeling of not knowing exactly how life is treating you and if something bad happened. But, with a little faith you will see that everything is just fine.

The decisions you make when choosing your way of traveling, you must be prepared to know the consequences of what might happen. Never to focus on them, but to know them. This does you will be better prepared for any given situation that might decide to occur to you. A hole in the boat or not. This is something that could happen to anyone. For that anyone to be me, is OK. I am still here and with a lot to write about. Especially with my newly discovered travel-vibe. I am not gonna be fussy what You decide to lay upon me. I sure am ready. Which just makes it all a tiny bit more exciting, I reckon.


It is all in the mind. You decide what outcome you wish for, in any situation that pops up. It is up to you and only YOU to make this choice; The Negative (the red light) or The Positive (the green light). And how cool is that? You get to decide your own homegrown level of happiness. I'd say we should all put a bit more effort in doing so and gain more knowledge within that area.

What's the worst that could happen?



You could end up being happy!


"Come What May"

Thank You

"No Leo - No Titanic"

"Should I go check if there is any damage" Lizz asked the Captain. A few minutes earlier I was standing at the bow, admiring the view of beautiful Fuerteventura island when I heard loud stratching noise from beneath my feets. As I tried to walk to the Brigde where the Captain was, I fell sideways in a what felt like a bump in a car.

"Naah, if we had a hole in the boat we would definately feel it straight away!" was the reply the Captain had. The boat is made of steel and has an attitude that screams "Unsinkable".

So, we found a beautiful place offshore a small island, dropped the anchor and Lizz dissapered to the kitchen to prepare a late lunch. She was only gone for a minute and came running to deck " Giz! The salon is under water. We fucking have a hole in the boat" she screamed. Gotta add I love Lizz and her honest mouth, started calling her "Faul Mouthed Lizz".

As I ran downstair to witness the salon that contains over 2000 CD's, 1000 books, 500 DVD's , 46 inch LCD blu-ray TV, leather couches, dining table with 8 chairs, reading area, computer desk ect. were completely destroyed, and what was light enough were floating around. I frooze for a second. My brain was pumping out questions such as: " Are we sinking? Should I put the dinghy in the water, ready for evacuation? Where is Gypzy? What do I do?.." The Captain managed to cut me off my maze of panicing thoughts by yelling " Giz, find the translation for the "Bilge pump" NOW"

FUUUUCK! All my translations how to manage this ship was in the reading area in the LOWER SALON, probably floating around with unreadable words as we spoke. Without putting too much thinking into it, I ran down the stairs only quickly to feel the rather chilly water to my knees, as I took my last step on the stairs towards the reading area, I fell through what used to be a floor. I managed to grab hold of the fireplace and drag myself out of the water, soaked, stressed, in panic I tried to think where there could be a copy of the folder. I pushed myself back to the stairs and stormed wet to the brigde where I luckily found a copy.


"Bilge pump. Bilge pump. Bilge pump. WHAT THE FUCK IS A BILGE PUMP?" I ran to the Captain, who in shock tried to turn it on by guessing. I asked for more specific information about this pump and was answered in a confused voice. As I was flipping through the pages written in Swedish I noticed blood. My blood. I apparently hurt my foot when falling through the floor. Yet at that time, I had no time to pity myself so thought I just save that for later.


We managed to make the pump work. A pump that is exactly designed for this kind of emergency; to pump out water. We quickly realized we had to go to more shallow waters in case we did sink, so as the water kept rising in the salon, despite the bilge pump was on, we pulled up the anchor and sailed across to the small town South from us, Correlejo.


Here we met Jeff.

A somewhat different character. A drunk basically. American solo sailor who is, to be quite frank, pissed 24/7. He came sailing up on our side after we once again had dropped anchor, volunteering to help.


The Captain and Jeff sailed the dinghy to land to try get some help. Left behind was Lizz and I. Knowing there were nothing else to be done at this time, we had a cup of tea and a snack to quiet ourselves down. Lizz of course had to throw dirty jokes on the table while we sat on deck with the dogs watching the sunset. It was full moon with a quiet touch to what soon would be night.

An hour later Superman came along. Uken is his name. A firefigher. A beautiful firefighter. Thee only decent looking male Lizz and I had laid an eye on the past couple of months. We thanked the captain for bringing a hunk of a man back to the boat. In case we did sink and pulled a "Titanic" at least we had our Leo. But, demanded a bit of warning next time before inviting handsome men onboard so we, at least look a bit decent ourselves. It is amazing what the opposite sex does to women in stress..

Anyhow. Despite hunky men. "Guardia Civil" threw us a visit as well. Two more men, in uniform. Hmm.

So.
As the boys were working hard, pumping out water, flashing muscles in what quickly became wet t-shirts, Lizz eagerly walked around taking photos, for the logbook, of course. As well as feeding the alcoholic Jeff beer, the hero's water and trying to calm down the Captain using humor of "Faul Mouthed Lizz". The whole situation quickly became what could be a standup comedy. Think this is rather a well used method to handle such a situaton. A time where you are not quite sure what will happen, at least it put smiles on faces and laughter soon become contagious.


At 2 Am Lizz and I surrendered to bed. A time where the situation was more or less under control and our superhero's left, after 8 hours constantly pumping out water.

At the crack of dawn we had to wake up to dock the boat. At this hour everyone from the night before had already boarded the ship, to help bring in The Old Lady.

When docking you are given a specific task. Mine is always to throw and NOT MISS the robe to the person on land. As we got closer to shore I threw the robe in my best possible styles, elegantly managed to knock the poor Spanish guy on land, over with the heavy end of the robe. Anyhow, due to the fact we were still a few meters from the dock I had to try pull in the ship using the robe. May I once again add this boat weights 300 or so tons! So, as I pulled and as we got nowhere despite several veins were popping up in my forehead, my Superman of a firefighter came to my rescue, again. He gave me a smile and took over the robe and pulled the frigin ship in. At this stage I think my jaws dropped while admiring his triceps, and I might even have drooled a little when pulling a puppy face. This Lizz quickly noticed, told me to get my shit together and get serious while wearing a cheeky smile on her face. So I did.

Because of all harbour people, police and Guardia Civil were scared we would sink, we were allowed to stay in the harbour for the night while pumping out more water.
5 minutes and what would have counted 50 tourists surrounded the boat, curious about what had happened, where we came from, where we were going and my most popular question:

"How did you manage to be crew?".

My favourite answer was and always will be "Cause I can".


After a few drinks and relaxed time that night Lizz and I saw our chance to go to town, searching for tunes and a jolly good time which resulted in quite an entertaining night. Well deserved after such an unforgetable voyge.

We were to go diving the following day. Diving to fix what was 3 or so holes 30 feet from the bow. Jeff the Drinker was the man for this job. And did well yet better the more beer he got. So most is fixed, yet only temporarily.

We are now only taking in a tiny bit of water and will hopefully stay dry till we get to Las Palmas. Here the boat will be taken to dry dock to get proper fixed and ready to cross the Atlantic.


So we didn't pull a Titanic, which was quite in favor of us. We all came out of it rather well, a few bruises and what might be a broken toe and a cut. Not bad when you decide to pull stunts like that in an emergency. I really know how to draw attention to myself, don't I?


Superman, who the Captain is most grateful to, has accepted an invite to the party he will throw in Las Palmas in favor of my birthday, a few weeks from now. The Guardie Civil will not be able to make it, however has offered to escort us on our sailing trip there, in case we unexpectally start taking in water.


As you can imagine, the Captain is quite grateful his darling boat did not become a possesion of sea. As well as thanking his crew, more than enough daily for team effort and all the work we now put in, to fix and clean up the lower salon.

This "little" episode really made me realize exactly how much I love this boat and life onboard. I have thee best time on sea. With the horizon as a daily view, real inspiring people to talk to, educational books to read and lots to write about. I actually love it more than I thought I would, which is a tad crazy. Always wanted to go sailing but never did I think it was this frigin cool. And I haven't even seen nothing yet!

The favourite hours of the day is during the night. Night watches when sailing, go for 3 hours each. When we sailed from Morocco to Correlejo the sea was lighten up by the moon, beautiful quiet with hundreds of stars to dwell in. A time where you sob in thoughts in the hammock. Thoughts that make you feel everything is possible.


Shit happens, even when living The Dream. Fair enough I'd say!


Thank You

I Surrender

Written Jan. 9th '11


Despite several warnings about stormy weathers we had to dig into it. The 1st Mate who is accompanied with his family, have to be back in Belgium by Monday. Mugia could not supply them with an airport, therefore we had to leave for a town further South.


Thursday around noon we pulled up the anchor and headed straight into stormy weathers. It only took us 10 min. before we once again, were surrounded by waves as high as 4 meters. Once we were further from shore the more powerful the wind got, this resulted in waves reaching 5-6 meters. I looked at the time; 12.30 pm and knew this would be a journey I would never forget.

As soon as 12.35 pm I surrendered to my room. Feeling like someone had stepped on my stomach, face and mind. Knowing my seasickness pretty well, I figured this was not a journey I could stay up for. The same second I reached my cabin I desperately grabbed a plasticbag and "coughed up and inner storm". This made me feel much better. Despite the fact I do not longer crave anything near toast and jam, which was the menu of my breakfast that day.

As I was lying there for hours, trying to calm my stomach down, it got worse. The wind came from South and we were heading front first into the waves, so the boat was rocking up and down. After a few hours we were "riding the waves" which means we broke the waves from front and after riding them, this resulted in the boat going up, down and from side to side, in what felt like 30-40 degrees. I felt terrible.


After a couple of disgraceful sessions of emptying my stomach, Lizz came to my room
"Giz! Are you alive? " she yelled.

I somehow managed to spit out the words " I think so".

" The Captain wants me to tell you, you are on night watch tonight"
I effortly opened one eyelid and saw a smile on her face. She was joking! She asked if I had eaten something and would therefore bring me some dry crackers. Though the thought of food made me feel worse.

"Lizz, no food! When everything came up I finally felt better" I weakly told her.

"Oh my dear, did you vomit?"

"Yes Lizz, three times and it was beautiful Lizz".

She laughed and told me I was a good girl. She left only to come back with crackers and water. After she left a kiss on my forehead she said outloud
" You are a HERO Giz" I managed to pull a smile and tell her I sure as hell did not feel like one.

" We will be in port in a few hours, hang in there." were the words from her before she left me to my missery.

After staring at the crackers I pulled off my fourth session of visiting the bag. She also told me I was not the only one onboard who had to surrender during the bumpy ride, no one were enjoying the yoyage, which made me feel a tiny bit better, to be honest.


As I once again cuddled my face in my pillow, killing time by digging my brain for thoughts to think I started to feel the weather calming down.

I managed to fall asleep with the delight of waking up in port.

Once the boat rests, the belly settles real fast.
After 10 min. and 5 crackers I was able to stand up and throw the remains of my body to the Brigde where I heard the Captain laugh. As he saw me pulling myself up the stairs he yelled:

" Ohhh looks who's up" and laughed outloud.

" You look beautiful tonight Giz, did you have fun?" I told him he really broke me this time and that I had an amazing time, of course.

We all had a laugh and shared stories of our seasickness and selfpity, ate some crackers and drank some coke.


1.30 am was the time we arrived, after 13 hours of battling with wind, weather and a bitchy stubborn stomach.


This was truly thee ultimate test. A test I definetely failed. However, considering the cruel conditions, I don't think I need to beat myself up . This was weather the Captain do not usually explore, mainly cause he sees no point in doing so. But when there is a deadline to make, you just gotta loose some to gain some, I reckon.

We are now anchored in beautiful settings. A small Spanish town with several beaches and bays, smiling people and great atmosphere, Baiona. It is time to relax and appreciate the Spanish tunes and tones. As well as saying bye to the Belgish family which will soon leave for Antwerpen after 10 days of pulling robes.
The town is a cutey. Small narrow streets that go back to 1201. An old town with soul and history, a beautiful castle right in the Bay which Lizz and I eagerly explored today for some exercise and chick flick talks while enjoying the desperately needed sun.


I need to write more about Lizz, she is worth writing about. The person she is, effects me in thee most positive way. A personality that, despite she is double my age, already strikes me as a friend for life. Age really does not matter in a diversity of fields, it all depends on the view of life that exact person got. And Lizz, she is the youngest 51-year-old woman I have ever met. Tends to throw dirty jokes with a very honest and somewhat always unfiltered mind.
She is originally from Holland but as 19-year-old she stormed to India where she met her Jewish husband from Melbourne. There she moved after spending severel years in India, exploring and becoming the person she is today: Free-minded, tolerant and with a perspective of life I learn a lot from. She has 3 kids from 20 to 26, two boys and a girl which does she connects real wel with young minds.
The most funny part of it all is; she has worked 3 years at thee same "Hippie Hostel" in Byron Bay where I lived and worked for almost 4 months, 5 or so years ago. We know the same people and the Byron Life, which is a frigin grand life to live. Feeling quite lucky having her onboard, she just make that little difference that creates this journey to be PERFECT!

When we have thumbs up regarding wind and weather we will leave Baiona. From then on we are only three onboard. Three people to bring the boat to Las Palmas, a boat that demand at least the double. Lizz, the Captain and myself. We all know it will be an effort and a tough job, so it is lucky we all have time to make time.
In Las Palmas new crew will join before we head to the crystal blue waters of the other side of The Great Atlantic Ocean.

Till then a lot of robes needs to be pulled and wind, weather and the basics need to be carefully studied. Definately fields worth learning, I'd say!


Thank You

Forever Change

Written Jan. 5th '11


After spending a night and a day in La Curuna, resting, refuelling and cleaning up the boat we once again got ready to hit the ocean road.


However. We did receive quite a few warnings about stormy weathers and winds reaching approximately 25 knots. This is wind you DO NOT wish to be in. The "storm" we had before our emergency stop in La Curuna only reached the 15 knots, so if you add another 10 knots to the waves my body felt; I think we all would be dead meat by the time we got out of it.


So the plan was to hit down South, stay close to the shore and find a nice little Spanish or Purtugeese town. A place where we could anchor for a few days till we had thumbs up to aim for open sea.


10 hours of sailing during the night was all we were able to do before having to head for the Spanish town Mugia. I was on night watch till 2 am. Went to bed with a few deep rockings of the boat, which I felt got worse due to ending up on the floor in my cabin, once again. At 6 am I noticed the quiet and heard the Captain drop the anchor. " Wicked! I can sleep like a normal person" were the last thoughts before I entered dreamworld.


I must say, so far the Captain has made only the right calls. As he says;
" No need to aim for rough weather when we have all the time in the world to get to Las Palmas. Where's the fire?".


I like it and his decisions.
Appreciate him not for being dum and trying to push the boat to its limits. He rather take it easy, enjoy the horizon and having a Gizmo who is 100 % fit for fight with a normal skin colour in her face. Thank You!
Since I got onboard I had the craziest dreams.


It is like the movement of the water makes my brain spin and dig up these unhidden subconcious memories and throw them all into my sleeping thoughts and therefore also my face. I kinda like it. Yet, everything in moderation ey.


Told the Captain about one dream I had where I was a Superhero. Real cool dream with several adrenalin kicks in my sleep. I love those dreams. Like the ones where you dream you are falling from a tall building. Uhhh! Dig it. Anyway, as I was telling him about who I saved being a rad mad Superhero and what I got up to, he looked at me with a smile (as always) and told me something I never thought of before;

" Well Giz. Do you know how many sperm cells there are in ONE ejaculation? Approximately 11 millions. And do you know how many will reach the egg? ONE, well normally one and sometimes two. But YOU fought your way throw. YOU battled a fight to be thee ONE to reach that egg. You have 3 brothers. Imagine all the stunts you pulled when kicking all the other eggs ass when YOU reached that egg. So you ARE a Superhero Giz. Even before you were born!"

How cool is that? I laughed my little bum off and told him I loved the way he gives me a compliment.


This is a thought you should always have in your mind when you have doubts about who you are. And most of all, what you are capable of. This thought matches my life-philosophy like a missing piece in a puzzle. We are all special. We can do what we want in life. If we beat that many millions at the finish line, then there gotta be something more to us than we think. We just tend to forget, which is sad. I will forever try to remember this when meeting a new personality. It helps you to see the beauty within, the glow every person has. Which is really something special and a gift to be cherished.


You really do create your own reality. You decide how you wish to look upon life and the experiences it gives you. Like The Dalai Lama would add; "There is nothing negative in the World, only your mind creates this". I love The Dalai Lama. When reading his books and sayings, there is a hidden softness that touches me. Like a warming hug that whisperes; "Everything will be just fine little one."
One thing that is certain in life is change.


Like the clouds.

They are forever changing. They will never make the same pose for you twice. And the coolest thing is you can always imagine different shapes of these: An elephant, an island with a palm tree. A pussycat (this I always tend to see), monkeys and so on. Even this you can interpretate into your way of thinking.
Your life will forever change. But it is up to YOU to see the beauty in all the different shapes of life and what it brings you. This is a challenge and not impossible. It is a another mental turn-on for me. An unbeatable smile provoker on a daily basis.


Frigin LOVE thought-stimulation as well as discovering new sides of "The Outer Box"!

Think we will try aim for another town further South around midnight. A place where we can anchor with easy access to land. My body is begging for a run. And a drink!

Thank You

A Messy Ride

Written Jan. 3rd '11



F*CK ME!

These last two days have been a test! A real test to really see if I am cut out for the big oceans of the world or not. Still not sure whether I passed or not.


When we crossed the corner of Belgium and France and ended outside the Biscay Bay of France, the weather changed. A lot of different weather were cooking in the area and since we were "close" to the Bay, we ended up in the middle of this.

Frigin ey!

Never have I tried anything anything near this. Such a challenge even to stand up. Waves which reached about the 4 meters surrounded us and considering you are on open water there is no easy way out. We had to stay in it and live with the ridiculous rough rocking of the boat. First 30 degrees to one side, then 20 degrees to the other and so it continued for about 48 hours.

That hurt. I was completely beating up at 4 am this morning when being on night watch. My eyes had forgotten how to stay open at all times, my stomach was up side down and all over the place and the more I looked at the watch wishing 6 am would come quick the slower it went.

At 4 am Lizz came to the Brigde, had a quick look at me and sent me off to bed. She willingly took over the last 2 hours of my watch and I am her dearly grateful.
Did her laundry today as a thank you.

As I tried to sleep the wind picked up even more, I fell out of bed 3 times; head first. Yep, frigin pretty. This pissed me off more than anything. No sleep, feeling like pooh and a frigin non-stop rocking boat really put my patience on a test. When my bodylotion bottle decided to throw itself right in my face at 6 am I spend so much energy being furious I managed to put myself to sleep.

Woke up feeling a bit better yet not fit for fight at all. The whole boat was a mess. Despite we secured everything onboard before departing loads of stuff were scattered all over the place. Things you never thought were able to be moved easily were moved to the other side of the boat. The clean-up started, despite we were still in waves around the 4 meters.

The diesel alarm went off. Luckily. We were soon to be out of petrol which meant we had to aim towards land for a refill. At this time we just reached the North West of Spain.


La Curuna Marina is where we now is anchored for the night. Its quiet. Oh so quiet. No engine, no noice, no waves and no upset stomach from constant movement and we all could have a well deserved and needed shower. I feel human again.
Considered we all were in high waters during new years and therefore never popped the champagne, we decided tonight was the night.

We are set to take off tomorrow, staying more or less close to the shore till we reach Africa where we will cut over and eventually hit Las Palmas. There is a storm roaming the open ocean where we were, so we came out of it in time.

Despite the roughness and toughness I am still a smile and will love a long night sleep in my bed and not on the floor with a " what you doing down there for Mommy?"-look from Gypzy who had it easy.


She is absolutely fearless that little puppy. Not a peep from her during the messy ride. The other dogs freaked out and cried the whole way through and Gypz was a champ. Just wanted to play and cuddle like nothing is up. Though despite her toughness, when I had her on my lap after dinner I felt she was rocking back and forth as though we were still sailing. Real cute. She is really something that little girl. Incredible!


I know this is not the last "storm" we will hit considered we will cross the Atlantic Ocean in February, and when doing so there are no ports to stop at and refuel. Sure that'll be an eye opener.


Till then and till tomorrow I will enjoy my quietness with my books and happy thoughts.


Only time can tell what will happen next..


Thank You

Happy New Year

Written Jan. 1st 20-and fucking 11


My day ended with another session of seasickness which did I had to pass out at 11 pm. Only one hour till New Years would hit and I celebrated in my sleep.
Oh well..

For some reasons New Year parties are always overrated, to me anyhow. Last year I spend the 00.00 am celebration hiding at the toilet of the bar I worked. Trying not to be caught for illegal working in Tel Aviv - not my proudest moment. The year before was in Phnom Penh, Cambodia; a night with pool, drinks and pizza. A quiet one - which is not near what PP is all about.

When thinking back 3 years I was in a penthouse apartment in Surfers Paradise with all my Aussie girls and was priviligded enough to share this night one of my oldest friends from Denmark and a person I always have loads of fun with. So this New Years was actually bullseye.


Anyway.
When I woke up this morning I had thee most amazing and breathtaking view, which made up for the lack of celebrations on New Years Eve.

Dolphins!

And many of them. Jumping, playing and swimming right at the bow (front) of the boat for half an hour. What else do you wish for at the start of a new year?

WOW.
I was completely estatic, smiled till my draws cramped. They were beautiful brown on the top and greyish colour at the bottom. We were at that point close to sail out of the English Channel. Despite the seasickness I had thee most amazing new years! And one I will never compare to any other.

My shifts on the boat are a bit spread out at the moment due to never knowning when my seasickness will show its ugly face.

We do shifts during the day and night for watch. The boat is completely fitted with all the new modern technology and therefore we have autopilot and sail from the radar and navigation system. This one gives us a full view and summary of all boats coming towards us or crossing us. Pretty damn cool. I have learned so much so far and feel completely privilidged being crew on this boat. The amount of patience these people have (Captain and 1st Mate) in teaching us all the skills and robes of sailing, is absolutely amazing.


We put the sails up for the first time today as well. There are 5 sails in total. The Genoa, which is the one closest to the bow, then we have the Jip, the square sail, then the main sail and the Mesim as the back sail. Beautiful white sails and they do an amazing job for the eye when sailing. Imagine the boat weighting about 250 tons capacity. Yep people, frigin 250 tons capacity.37 meters long and 4 meters wide. This is one heavy bitch!

Due to lack of wind we are back on motering. During appr. 8 knot pr. hour which needs to be multiplied by 1.8 and you have k's. Not bad for such a huge and old lady.

My shift for today starts at 8pm tonight till midnight. Then Gypz and I can have a great 6 hours sleep till we start our morning shift for another 4 hours. The mornings are the best. You get to experience the sunrise and the smell of a new day. Something real special when you are on open sea.


3 days have passed, about 11 or so more to go.


Thank You

Wobbly Bellies

Written Dec. 31st last day of 2010!



When I'm sitting here on the "brigde" which is the sailing term for the stearing room up on deck, I realize this is the last day of the year.


Belgium is on my left side and England is quietly somewhere out there in the horizon on my right hand side. We left yesterday morning. Was due to leave the day before but decided due to unlucky weather we stayed another night at the port in Ternauzen. And here I am. On a boat, nicely rocking from side to side with the frigin horizon as a daily view. I love it!


Yesterday was somewhat thee worst day I had since I got onboard. A lot had to be done the previous day; preparing the sails, testing these and pull a hell of a lot of robes. My back did not like this at all. Always been suffering from muscle contractions around my scaptulars and with freezing weather this resulted in a mean migraine. Not to mention as we set sails I came down with the delight of seasickness. Damn it!

Despite feeling like pooh and apparently looking worse than that I had to stay on deck, my excitement for this journey overtook the pain. For a few hours anyhow till Lizz (an amazing woman from Byron Bay, Australia!!) more or less carried me to bed for a massage and healing. This put me to sleep for a while till I woke up and once again realized by looking out my little round cabin window; I am finally on water.
Im so ridiculously excited about this journey and the new life I have brought upon myself. There is so much to write about; the crew onboard, the Captain, the dogs, the feeling of the waves, the horizon and most of all the feelings inside of me that keeps giving me signals that this will be an amazing time and being grateful is the least I can do.


Woke up this morning after a long night sleep, prepared the fruitplatter for the "brigde" that is essential, the Captains coffee and my own. Quietly watching the horizon out on deck with 4 playing puppies around me and a frigin ridiculous large smile on my face.

All this and more and it's only the first day!

2011 will be a heck of a year with butt loads of surprises, I cannot wait to seek 'em all!

Thank You

A Mental Turn-On

Written Dec. 28 '10


Since I was eight years of age I have been putting words down on paper. Words less well spelled and less readable than these, naturally. I always had a love for black ink silently and elengantly touching a white piece of paper with a beautiful flow. This relaxes me. Comforts me and will always bring me to a state of mind I love to enter and happily stay there for hours a day. There is something twistedly erotic about sitting down with my "Writers Book" having my favourite pen correctly placed in my hand and write whatever comes to mind. Erotic cause it has always turned me on mentally. It makes me smile even in my darkest hours of my life. It gives me a sense of life being wicked as hell no matter what tasks I have to do and rather wouldn't. I love it more than a thousands words. And myself for giving time to do so, hours a day if needed and wished for.

I never read what I have written.


The thoughts I had when putting down those specific words and sentences are to be kept there and are no longer part of my thinking today. New day, new thoughts, new words and most importantly new feelings. It is these that make any writing great. To express a love for someone special, a love for a taste, a feel, a touch, a face, a sight, an experience ect.


Yesterday I did exactly what I never do.

I read in my " Writers Book" and I have no idea why but glad I did.

It was August 8th '10, sitting on the couch in the middle of the day, tired, stressed and with a headache I expressed my confusement I felt from work. Being ON averagely 14 hours a day, earning some great cash to make my dreams come true. This I did as a hardcore waitress on the island in Denmark where I grew up; I had a lot of longing thoughts and feelings towards sunny days with Gin n' Tonic on the beach in Tel Aviv.


Besides drinks on a beach my dreams were exactly what I have and do now.
I spend a precious hour to write instead of sleeping which I really should have done. The pen went to the paper and I wrote about " A Gypzy's Tale"; the little firecracker of a puppy I dreamed of getting. Solo-single-with doggy-traveling.

Which brings me to dream no. 2: Sailing the World.

And here I am. With " A Gypzy's Tale" sleeping on me as I am typing, in my cabin ON A BOAT.


Dreams do come true. When time is right whatever you wish for and essentially if you wish hard enough; You will reach the smiles you get when achieving these. How great is that?!

So how does it feel to achieve the dreams I had a few months ago?

Indescriable!

It all happened quite calmly. I had a lot of time to get used to the thought of a puppy in my life. And I knew about the boat for 2 months till I actual sat my feet onboard and therefore my brain gradually grew with the thoughts of "my new life". This did I now, do not realise it all, as I really should.

It would be in order if I shouted out a "Holla" and send a big smile to the sky with thee largest Thank You. Whoever You are. Not to forget to thank myself for letting these great experiences into my life. Cause in the end; What would I do without myself. What would YOU do without yourself? You are the one creating your own reality. How frigin cool is that?

Setting my first sails tomorrow. My virgin sailtrip and I am as ready as I can get.


Bring On the Horizon Captain.

Thank You

" Perfectionisticly Perfect"

Written Dec. 25th 2010

Fuck!

As I just sat down Gypzy decides to peeh peeh on the beanbag. I don't know what this little girl has with beanbags. Such fascination of these that she just has to put down some juice. It's starting to become a bad habit.



I had my first confrontation with the Captain this morning.

So. You are on a boat, planning a long cruise with all these people you do not know, not even seen before in your life. Knowing you need to work with them, eat with them, see them every day and share with them. You know you need to be patient, have the energy to get to know them and their personalities as well as boundaries.

My boundary was stepped on. And this is not something I let pass easily. I might if I didn't care much about the person doing so. Or if it was a tiny episode of this "stepping on". But when I know we need to walk side by side for a long time I had to make sure this didn't happen again.


It wasn't a big thing, actually. But big enough to make me feel annoyed and misunderstood.

There is so much work to do on this boat. Sometimes it feels endless. If you picture an old boat and a Captain who is a perfectionist, it equals: A frigin long time!

I do different tasks everyday and help where help is needed, in-between my translations of all the technical parts to English from Swedish. And yesterday I was to put up 8 hangers for towels in one of the bathrooms. When this was done my eye caught a well-done job, even though it was the first time my hand used a driller. I did well. I thought.

The Captain had a look and surprisingly quick he saw an uneven hanger. One out of eight, and he only sees this one. "It gotta be fixed" were the words coming from his mouth and I was a bit appalled. One out of eight...


Well, how I see it and you might as well analyse this into how my perspective of life is too, cause it all comes together in the end.


I see the whole picture. I see the perfect and well-done job; Seven out of eight. My eye will NEVER catch the uneven. If I walked this Earth with eyes that could only catch the one out of eight; I’m not sure I would be a very happy and satisfied person. It is all about your perspective of life. Do you choose to focus on the negative; the one out of eight, or will your eyes happily see the seven out of eight?


Mistakes are what make you and "it" perfect. The one standing out symbolizes soul (to me anyhow). It characterizes life and you wonder who did the job (this, if you notice the uneven hanger of course), and all of the sudden you have a story in your head. You start thinking who and when did this person hang these hangers up. And the kind of person that would leave one uneven cause they just did not give a rat’s ass about it. I know it is a bit far out however I am just trying to think outside the box.


Well, since the hanger now is fixed; there are now eight perfect even hangers in the bathroom. I am a little bored with that to be frank.
The same applies to people.


I love people and their little mistakes. The beautiful people are the ones you have to look at three or four times to really see them. This is fascinating to me and I will turn my head desperately to check these people out.

Your personality has so many great sides and loads of fascinating, interesting and appealing aspects. It is these qualities I want to put my focus on.
I will not negatively focus on the pimple in your forehead. The poor shaving of your beard. The unmatching colour of your socks. The food stuck in your teeth. These are the things that to me, make you who you are.

You have a story surrounding you:

You must be stressed due to the pimple in your forehead; we all know shit happens.

You were real late this morning and therefore did not have time to shave properly.

The same applies to your socks; why the hell waste time finding the other white sock when you have more important things to do?

The food in your teeth is just an everyday little fun thing everyone experiences on a daily basis and something that happens. To me, that’s funny. Make a joke out of it.


Not everything needs to be perfectionisticly perfect.

These "shit-happens episodes" are the ones that tell me about you, without putting words to it.

A mistake is perfect in itself. The love you have for a person. You can't deny and say that her or his little weird things she or he does, are not perfect. They are something that makes them who they are. Yes, this you can change but why? It is merely cute than weird, I'd say.


People always say that if the little things bother you in the beginning of a relationship, then after a decade together you will wanna kill this person for their little things cause they annoy you so much. Well, to me that got nothing to do with the fact that you are annoyed by these habits. It got something to do with you no longer feeling the same love you did when you had your mind set on the fact that these habits were likely cuter than annoying. You just blame the little things cause it is easier than realising your relationship is unhappy.

I don't wanna dig too deep a hole into this subject, I'm just trying to prove a point.


I want to love a person for their little "mistakes" and I do not need to be told to focus on an uneven hanger in a bathroom. And this is what the confrontation was all about. Primarily cause I hope to get the same behaviour back.


You cannot make a perfect job for a perfectionist, even if you are one yourself. Different person; different perspective, different eye. Therefore you need patience and a knowledge which will lead you to the thought; whatever job I ask a person to do, I know it will not be done in the perfect way I want it myself, but that is OK.
The Captain now knows this; Do not ask me to do a job for you that will fit your perfect eye and be 100% satisfied. I will do my very best but will never put my own thought to doubt whether I did OK or not. Cause I know I did. I simply did my best.


This is what I love about getting older and something I lacked in my younger years. Knowing myself well enough to know exactly where I hold my ground. And be able to have several arguments to back me up as well.


So whoever reads this; You are how you live. You are your own story. Live your story and be appreciated for it!

And that, for me is simply PERFECT and how cool is that!

Thank You