" Perfectionisticly Perfect"

Written Dec. 25th 2010

Fuck!

As I just sat down Gypzy decides to peeh peeh on the beanbag. I don't know what this little girl has with beanbags. Such fascination of these that she just has to put down some juice. It's starting to become a bad habit.



I had my first confrontation with the Captain this morning.

So. You are on a boat, planning a long cruise with all these people you do not know, not even seen before in your life. Knowing you need to work with them, eat with them, see them every day and share with them. You know you need to be patient, have the energy to get to know them and their personalities as well as boundaries.

My boundary was stepped on. And this is not something I let pass easily. I might if I didn't care much about the person doing so. Or if it was a tiny episode of this "stepping on". But when I know we need to walk side by side for a long time I had to make sure this didn't happen again.


It wasn't a big thing, actually. But big enough to make me feel annoyed and misunderstood.

There is so much work to do on this boat. Sometimes it feels endless. If you picture an old boat and a Captain who is a perfectionist, it equals: A frigin long time!

I do different tasks everyday and help where help is needed, in-between my translations of all the technical parts to English from Swedish. And yesterday I was to put up 8 hangers for towels in one of the bathrooms. When this was done my eye caught a well-done job, even though it was the first time my hand used a driller. I did well. I thought.

The Captain had a look and surprisingly quick he saw an uneven hanger. One out of eight, and he only sees this one. "It gotta be fixed" were the words coming from his mouth and I was a bit appalled. One out of eight...


Well, how I see it and you might as well analyse this into how my perspective of life is too, cause it all comes together in the end.


I see the whole picture. I see the perfect and well-done job; Seven out of eight. My eye will NEVER catch the uneven. If I walked this Earth with eyes that could only catch the one out of eight; I’m not sure I would be a very happy and satisfied person. It is all about your perspective of life. Do you choose to focus on the negative; the one out of eight, or will your eyes happily see the seven out of eight?


Mistakes are what make you and "it" perfect. The one standing out symbolizes soul (to me anyhow). It characterizes life and you wonder who did the job (this, if you notice the uneven hanger of course), and all of the sudden you have a story in your head. You start thinking who and when did this person hang these hangers up. And the kind of person that would leave one uneven cause they just did not give a rat’s ass about it. I know it is a bit far out however I am just trying to think outside the box.


Well, since the hanger now is fixed; there are now eight perfect even hangers in the bathroom. I am a little bored with that to be frank.
The same applies to people.


I love people and their little mistakes. The beautiful people are the ones you have to look at three or four times to really see them. This is fascinating to me and I will turn my head desperately to check these people out.

Your personality has so many great sides and loads of fascinating, interesting and appealing aspects. It is these qualities I want to put my focus on.
I will not negatively focus on the pimple in your forehead. The poor shaving of your beard. The unmatching colour of your socks. The food stuck in your teeth. These are the things that to me, make you who you are.

You have a story surrounding you:

You must be stressed due to the pimple in your forehead; we all know shit happens.

You were real late this morning and therefore did not have time to shave properly.

The same applies to your socks; why the hell waste time finding the other white sock when you have more important things to do?

The food in your teeth is just an everyday little fun thing everyone experiences on a daily basis and something that happens. To me, that’s funny. Make a joke out of it.


Not everything needs to be perfectionisticly perfect.

These "shit-happens episodes" are the ones that tell me about you, without putting words to it.

A mistake is perfect in itself. The love you have for a person. You can't deny and say that her or his little weird things she or he does, are not perfect. They are something that makes them who they are. Yes, this you can change but why? It is merely cute than weird, I'd say.


People always say that if the little things bother you in the beginning of a relationship, then after a decade together you will wanna kill this person for their little things cause they annoy you so much. Well, to me that got nothing to do with the fact that you are annoyed by these habits. It got something to do with you no longer feeling the same love you did when you had your mind set on the fact that these habits were likely cuter than annoying. You just blame the little things cause it is easier than realising your relationship is unhappy.

I don't wanna dig too deep a hole into this subject, I'm just trying to prove a point.


I want to love a person for their little "mistakes" and I do not need to be told to focus on an uneven hanger in a bathroom. And this is what the confrontation was all about. Primarily cause I hope to get the same behaviour back.


You cannot make a perfect job for a perfectionist, even if you are one yourself. Different person; different perspective, different eye. Therefore you need patience and a knowledge which will lead you to the thought; whatever job I ask a person to do, I know it will not be done in the perfect way I want it myself, but that is OK.
The Captain now knows this; Do not ask me to do a job for you that will fit your perfect eye and be 100% satisfied. I will do my very best but will never put my own thought to doubt whether I did OK or not. Cause I know I did. I simply did my best.


This is what I love about getting older and something I lacked in my younger years. Knowing myself well enough to know exactly where I hold my ground. And be able to have several arguments to back me up as well.


So whoever reads this; You are how you live. You are your own story. Live your story and be appreciated for it!

And that, for me is simply PERFECT and how cool is that!

Thank You